I recently did a bi-annual review of the “General State of Things” in my life and concluded (like the majority of people) that I wasn’t entirely happy with the way things are.

Perhaps it’s the high standards that I have set for myself and consciously decide to adhere to. In anything I’m highly interested where I choose to devote my time and energy, I dive into it and go as deep as possible. By my diving into a particular interest I may have (say public speaking), I aim for not only competency but mastery.

However, after doing my bi-annual review, I noticed a pattern that I caught on that went unnoticed for a while being my tendency to dabble to the point where I:

1) Completely burn out and never go back

2) Drop the interest for one reason (or excuse) or another

Some of the interests that I’ve picked up and amassed over over the years lay in the areas of: improvisational comedy, public speaking, salsa dancing, tea, running, P90X, blogging, philanthropy and meditation.

After picking up on this pattern, to say that I was extremely upset with myself would be an understatement. The reason for my being upset is that the standards were of my own choosing; where I consciously thought them through knowing that they’re challenging enough for me to grow and learn. I realized if I violate my own standards, it really is a blow to my own self-concept. Despite that I constantly stretch myself to reach that ideal equilibrium of practicing what I preach and following through with the promises I make to myself in taking on interests that I’m truly passionate.

After careful reflection, I’ve decided to pick up on the interests that I’ve left on the wayside over the last two years or so being: Public Speaking, Blogging, P90X (or any form of physical exercise) – these being more so lifelong interests that I want to continually hone and improve upon.

What I really aim for these while on the path of mastery are practicing the fundamentals consistently and aligning it with my purpose and long-term vision of who I want to become.

What are your thoughts on being an unconscious dabbler versus striving for mastery? Do you find yourself continually trying out new things and dropping them or do you align your interests with a long term vision for yourself?

Before I continue, I will selfishly say that I’m writing this for me and only me to keep me accountable for what I’m mapping out for myself over the next year.   This will be for me to reflect upon for years to come, so this is warning in advance that this will be a LONG post, but if you want to check out what’s happened in my life over the last year you’re more than welcome to take a peek. Oh yeah, read on for a major announcement as well

Now that I got that disclaimer out of the way,  I can boldly say that I’ve made leaps and bounds in my personal growth and understanding what I am truly capable of.    At the beginning of 2008, I was fresh off of Tony Robbin’s Personal Power II program and I wrote a post on New Year’s Resolutions versus Dedications, which entailed being conscious of the language that we use as an indication of our internal dialogue and what we say to ourselves, how we rationalize and justify our choices and opinions in whatever it is we’re facing in our life situations.

For the purposes of skimming, I’ve provided links to my year end reflections of my failures and successes this year.

YEAR END REFLECTIONS

FAILURES

Every adversity, every failure, every heartache carries with it the seed on an equal or greater benefit.’  - Napoleon Hill

There is a lot to be learned from failures no matter how painful, traumatizing or heart-breaking they may be.  To me, failure is to be unconscious of the invisible forces that lead us to failing in the first place. As long as you go about living your life with courage and consciously dissect your failures and break them down to find out what the major contributing factors were, there are major breakthroughs to be had when you make it a habit and perservere every single day in your life.

School

Second City Conservatory Program

Completing Toastmasters Competent Communicator Track

Reading 30 books on self-actualization

Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.  – Thomas A. Edison

• Belief and respect in myself and others
• Being grateful for everything I have
• Implementing and refining better solutions to problems that arise in my life – constantly
• Nurturing my ‘inner world’  
• Celebrating all of my victories and the micro-distinctions I’ve made – no matter how small or seemingly insignificant

Running a Marathon

Journaling

Affirmations

Transforming for SickKids Initiative 2008

Blogging

Credit Card Debt

Sculpt My Body Like Bruce Lee’s & P90X

Moving In With My Girlfriend

NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTIONS

Back on December 19, 2008, I wrote down all the things I wanted to turn into reality without judgment by December 31, 2009. I whittled all the “goals” I have for the year into seven different categories being:  

Health, Wealth, Relationships, Creativity, Career, Contribution and Exploring the World.

These are my New Year’s Goals for 2009:

Health:

• Run a Marathon in under 3 hrs 45 mins by Oct 31, 2009
• Complete P90X and P90X+ programs
• Allow only ONE day per month to consume alcohol (not including the preparation of meals like risotto)

Wealth:

• Plow through the remainder of my credit card debt and burn half way through my OSAP loan
• Make $200 per week in passive income

Creativity:

• Finish my Competent Communicator and Competent Leader tracks for Toastmasters
• Write on a consistent basis (4 times weekly) to become a better writer
• Read at least 26 books on anything (one book every two weeks)
• Finish improv classes at The Impatient Theatre Company

Relationships:

• Be an even BETTER boyfriend in 2009
• Devote more quality time to family
• Be the central hub to a fantastic group of friends (current and new)
• Appreciate as well as give and add value to all of my relationships in any form possible

Career:

• Finish up Accounting degree
• Get into CMA Accelerated Program for Sept 2009
• Get a new job

Contribution:

• Take my Transforming for SickKids Initiative to the next level

Exploring the World:

• Travel to at least 2 countries outside of North America

It’s a lengthy list and definitely challenging – but if I turn any of these Resolutions into reality, I’ve already won. That’s all! FINALLY eh??

I can’t wait to see how 2009 will stack up against an amazing 2008!

My parting words to those who have skimmed or read this entire post is to have a fantastic 2009 and may it eclipse 2008!

What are your resolutions?  In a year’s time, what kind of person do you envision yourself becoming?  Let me know in the comments

You ever wonder how Sen. Obama Barack got to the level where he is today? I bet you that it was through consistent practice and refinement that he was able to get to the level where he is today in swaying millions of people to relate and buy into his new vision for change in America.

It’s not surprising that people aren’t scrambling for opportunities to speak in front of an audience. The fear of being judged, being in the spotlight or being seen as an authority can stop anyone dead in their tracks. You have to acknowledge that the fear, pain and anxiety associated with public speaking is self-created, which is insane. The key is to face your fear, acknowledge it and just do it! You grow and learn so much by pushing your comfort zone.

Public speaking is one of those skills that helps develop your character and gives you that unshakable confidence in order to interact and communicate with people in an effective and confident manner. But in order to get better at anything we often look for guidance.

Here are a few realizations after reflecting on my first speaking engagement in front of close to a hundred people at the Ryerson Tri-Mentoring First Impressions Gala on behalf of Social Relations Institute.

1. Research your audience – find out or think of all the reasons why they’re attending the event you’re speaking at, what sort of value you can provide to them, why they’re there and what they want to get out of the event, and what your message to them will be. Once you’ve answered those questions, try and weave your findings and ideas around the theme of the event and cater it to your audience. PREPARE and KNOW what you’ll be talking about!

2. Brief notes and timing – have some brief notes or cue cards that you can refer to so they serve as reminders for you to stay on track and within your given time slot. If you’re a Powerpoint savvy presenter, keep in mind that you shouldn’t be reading your slides to your audience – any knucklehead can do that. A Powerpoint presentation should serve as signposts of what you’ll be talking about. Also, you should be wary of cramming so much information that you get overwhelmed; you will also in turn confuse your audience with too much information.

3. NEVER memorize! – this is probably one of the most common ways of preparing for a speech in a class presentation, for work or at an event. When you’re speaking to inform or persuade, memorization will come across as rehearsed or inauthentic. The purpose is not to remember your speech, but make a connection with the audience in order to get their attention and build a strong rapport with them.

4. Your mindset – Go in with the mindset of imparting a simple message that your audience can remember, relate to or implement in their own lives. The more the audience can relate and make sense of what you’re talking about, the more effective you’ll be able to inform and persuade people in changing their behaviours.

5. Visualize your success! – if possible, scope out the venue you’ll be speaking at and familiarize yourself with the environment. When you do that, visualizing your success will be made much easier. You can imagine the entire audience applauding, the thundering of their clapping with hoots and whistles, and ultimately praising your speech/presentation. When you envision something to the point of it feeling real, you’ll feel like you’ve done it and rehearsed it in real life many times before. It can give you that added confidence in order to deliver a high impact and outstanding speech.

6. Don’t beat yourself up – if you don’t do well as you originally envisioned, don’t beat yourself up over it. You took action and did what the majority of people can’t do – speak in front of an audience who see you as an authority in your field or topic.

Reflect on the things that need to be worked on taking into account your thoughts and experiences in a blog, journal or even with supportive friends/colleagues so you can learn, grow and deliver an even better performance the next time! Remember, becoming an effective public speaker is a process and journey – not a destination.

7. Measure your progress – you can do this two ways: as I mentioned previously, journaling or blogging, and videotaping your speeches.
Although the thought of watching yourself speak can make you cringe (as it happens to me), there are a lot of things that can be gained by watching yourself. It allows you to see yourself from the audience’s perspective. You can pick up on little nervous ticks you may have, improve how you express emotion, and your body language to the audience.

Only 7% of our communication is done orally, the other 93% is done through body language and emotion. Since we can fully control our body language and emotions, we can tweak it so we can improve the way we communicate instantly.

If you want to go further with this, you can put your videos up on Youtube and share it with friends and colleagues so they can give you constructive feedback that you can take into consideration for future speaking engagements.

8. Turn public speaking into something enjoyable – instead of framing public speaking in fear, turn it into something enjoyable. For myself, whenever I feel extremely uncomfortable (as when I first started public speaking), I conditioned myself into knowing that there is a breakthrough to be had in my public speaking. It both excites me and pushes me to express myself fully, authentically, and passionately in order to capture an audience’s attention to engage them.

9. PRACTICE, PRACTICE, PRACTICE! – I can’t stress this point enough. I believe it takes theory, skill and practice in order to be truly masterful in anything. Public speaking/Professional Presentation classes in school can be a great first start (for students, you can get credit towards yourdegree) to break you out of your shell and push you outside of your comfort zone. This is how I started out when I had taken by taking Professional Presentations at Ryerson University. It served as a great starting point and put on me this path of improving my communication to not only audiences but everyone in general.

Additionally, Toastmasters is another great way of honing the art of public speaking. I found out about Toastmasters through my Professional Presentations class, and I never looked back!
Toastmasters an International organization focused on developing communication and leadership skills in its members. As it is international, you most likely have a few hundred Toastmasters clubs in your area if you live in a major metropolitan city.

What are your thoughts and feelings on public speaking ? Let me know in the comments!