It’s been a while since my last fitness update. So long story short:

• I signed up for a running clinic with The Running Room over by the beaches in Toronto.
• I’ve been training for the Scotiabank Toronto Waterfront Half-Marathon where I was originally supposed to run for the Mississauga Marathon back in May this year.
• Change of diet has played a huge role in shedding weight and gaining energy and endurance to make it through a day without a nap
• My shin splints haven’t been as chronic as before due to my proper training with my clinic
• I’ve lost at least 5 pounds since training for two months now (I haven’t properly weighed myself yet
• I ran 12 kilometres and 14 kilometres respectively a few weeks ago, breaking a mental barrier of 10K right around when I last got injured.  It was my previous high back in my Fitness update #4 

I’ve never felt healthier in my life. I’m able to run for over an hour and a half straight and swim for at least 30 mins (just hopped out of the pool straight.

Finally, I recently decided try out the famed P90X home workout program again after dabbling in it a few months ago.  There have been a lot of inspiring videos floating around on YouTube with people tracking their progress as they follow the program with some amazing results. I’ll be doing the same after I’m done my classes for the summer in order to begin a challenge that I’m calling “Project Core Values”, which I’ll dedicate an entire post to later on when I have the time. In any case, as per Fitness Update tradition.. a route of my most recent long run!

This is the true joy in life, the being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one; the being thoroughly worn out before you are thrown on the scrap heap; the being a force of Nature instead of a feverish selfish little clod of ailments and grievances complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy. - George Bernard Shaw

Last year, I had undertook a one month challenge to raise $5000 for the SickKids Foundation in conjunction with the release of the movie “Transformers” - a childhood passion of mine - on what was supposed to be released on my birthday, but released on July 3^rd instead. The end result was $4230 raised for SickKids as opposed to the original $5000, and an unforgettable and truly empowering experience.I had created the TRANSFORMING for SickKids Initiative as a challenge to myself and as an act of gratitude to the wonderful people and world-class pediatric care bestowed upon me during my time at the Hospital for Sick Children in Toronto, Ontario back in May-June 1993. If it wasn’t for their care, I probably wouldn’t be here today.

Now that I think of it, the purpose of the Initiative could be encapsulated in the following: “Promoting research in pediatric care through rediscovering and igniting childhood passions in ourselves and connecting people together for a common cause in the care and health of children – the SickKids Foundation.”

Had it not been for the help I received from the of the over 20 sponsors with their donations-in-kind in crafting the prize packages, my friends (Bonnie, Franz, Mike S, Paulina, Patricia, Franz, Chi Lam, Mike K, Jennifer, Katherine and Gokul) and loved ones (especially Loretta). Furthermore, to the countless people who saw and believed in the vision to the point where they bought raffle tickets, with the proceeds ultimately put towards research in pediatric care used in protecting and caring for humanity’s most precious resource – the children of today and our future. If it wasn’t for all those people, the Initiative wouldn’t have been possible.

This year, in the spirit of “Transforming”, because there isn’t a Transformers 2 movie to continue what was built last year the Initiative itself is Transforming into something drastically different. Instead of solely selling raffle tickets at a prominent and high traffic location aligned with the release of a Transformers movie, the Initiative is moving towards raising funds through running and Transforming ourselves. For the past few months, I’ve been training for a half-marathon and have been gearing up for the Scotiabank Toronto Waterfront Marathon as a primer, and use the Toronto Marathon as the launching pad for the Transforming for SickKids Initiative’s new vision.

By Transforming ourselves from the inside and outwards while training for a marathon, we can inspire and empower others to actualize our goals and dreams through fitness. It is only when we put something before ourselves that forces us to push ourselves outside of comfort zone and expand our capacity - to contribute and give whatever gift we have to the world, we can truly grow. Rallying behind a purpose that is meaningful, beyond ourselves that moves us is what will power the TRANSFORMING for SickKids Initiative.

This is my purpose for now. What’s yours?

I failed. Yep, you read it right. I failed, not one course, but two courses which is definitely a setback, but I digress. Of course I didn’t really mean the “you fail at life comment” literally, but I’m sure some of you can relate to this experience where you walk out of an exam (or anything else “important” in life for that matter) knowing that you failed. It’s the feeling of self-perceived complete and utter failure that overshadows all other aspects of your life bringing it to a screeching halt.

I confirmed the results of my exams the other day, and I didn’t even flinch because I already sentenced myself to this outcome through self-sabotage – on both conscious and subconscious levels. It also didn’t help when I joked around being the “worst accountant in the world”. Don’t get me wrong, though, this post isn’t to whine about what happened, rather it is to own my failure (because I “earned” it), man up, and reflect upon the experience and just keep moving forward.I purposely stayed away from this blog because I didn’t want to report back to the faceless readers of my blog with my tail between my legs because I was all about “rah-rah self improvement” and then having it all crash down upon me. My internal-dialogue and self-talk up until my exams was not aligned with where I wanted to be. Simply not “feeling” the material was no excuse to pour everything I had into my studies as well as anything self improvement related. While I was feeling good while burying myself under a pile of “feel good” self improvement related books, I wasn’t focusing the fundamentals – a solid foundation that I was grounded in to truly make some REAL progress in the ultimate goal of graduating. I made a mountain out a molehill, I was a self improvement junkie and I didn’t actually believe I could do it. How fucked up is that?Yes, there was wallowing in self pity and beating myself up over the outcome. But no, I’m bigger and stronger than that to shirk from being accountable and fully responsible for my actions that led to this “setback”.After some thorough self-analysis I realized what the factors were that led to this crash-and-burn experience. It’s ironic that while all this time I was fearing and trying to avoid failure, it would nonetheless be the outcome of all that action. This was one of the keys to my “demise” - I wasn’t aiming for success, I was avoiding failure. How’s that for setting the bar low and sealing my fate?Without writing on and on about how I failed, I want to cut to the chase. I failed because:

• I feared for irrational reasons, constantly thinking about how tough the courses would be
• I didn’t believe in myself
• I didn’t assess advice given to me critically to see if it would really work for me or not
• I didn’t have a solid foundation and a regimen that I would stick to and follow through on, no matter how long it took for me to understand school related material
• Even though I tried to surround myself with those people who were successful in my program, I effectively disqualified myself from hanging out with them because I believed I wasn’t “good enough” for them.\
• I had an “Escape button” handy in case things got awry. I had a letter of permission from my university to study at another university in case things didn’t work out for my Corporate Taxation and my Business Combinations course.

While I’m not blaming anyone except myself for this outcome, I took some advice from well-intentioned friends without being too critical and assessing whether it work with my personality. I had a cookie-cutter mould of what a “Great Way to Start a Day” was. If anything deviated from that routine, all hell would break loose and I’d lose another productive day due to the problematic reason of not “feeling it”. I dropped activities such as training for my half-marathon and cutting back on the attendance of my Toastmasters meetings to focus on what really matter at the time, to pass my courses successfully.The discipline with respect to my health was unparalleled compared to any other time in my life, and with the removal of this one “thread” it had unravelled all the progress I had made and I slipped back into old habits. I was near cutting through my credit card debt after a 3 month regimen of living frugally, I was half way through my training for a half-marathon, I lost close to 8 pounds after watching what I ate and working out at least 4 times a week, I popped a vitamin pill first thing in the morning – all of that was undone and the only habit I really retained was making my bed right after I hop out of bed. Now I have to do it all over – again.Although it’s clearly frustrating being in this position, it made me dig real deep inside make sense of this outcome. This led me to think about what I needed in order to have myself fire on all cylinders and have things just flow the way I want them to. Through all of the material I’ve read, it’s come down to just four words that sum up what I need to stick to and follow through. Clarity, Focus, Action, Fulfillment.Clarity – I need to be completely clear with what I want my outcomes to be. So in my case, by the end of the summer is to finish off my courses in order to graduate by October.Focus – what this would entail is to go so far as scheduling what I need to do – ideally a week in advance – and focusing on hitting these outcomes with no distraction and immersing myself in that action or activity. No computers, no books, just me and what I need to finish. No ifs, ands or buts.Action – you need to act in order to do accomplish anything.Fulfillment – this would involve daily journaling and measuring my progress to see how I’m doing, how far I’ve come along, and ultimately celebrating that progress each step of the way.What I will be doing from here on in is focusing on a solid foundation in order to give me the energy, focus and confidence to do what I need to do. The foundation involves cultivating Spirit, Mind and Body that would build rock solid “inner game” – a superior belief system to accomplish anything I put my mind to. Nothing should or will compromise this foundation once I’ve built it from scratch.After listening to and reading from cover to back again, David Deida’s The Way of the Superior Man, I realized that I had been lacking an edge, a true mission or “purpose” that moved me inside. I wasn’t authentic to who and what I want to become. I fell into an almost delusional outlook of how the future had in store for me. I didn’t align myself with anything that I felt I could use as creative outlet to pour my mind, body and soul into for fulfillment. I have the “fresh new start” I’ve been yearning for now that I’m at the beginning of my summer courses.There are NO EXCUSES now and there’s no looking back or regrets. There is only the Now, complete and utter focus on the process of moving forward. If I stumble, I’ll still be able to make it there because I have absolute clarity and all the reasons I need of why I want to achieve my yearly goals.

Reading self-improvement blogs like zenhabits.net,  listening to Tony Robbins CD’s, and going through old journal entries, and most importantly having my support system of friends as well as my girlfriend talking me through it has kept me in check of not falling back into a victim/self-sabotage frame.  I’m grateful for their feedback and

I’ve recently gotten approval for my Letters of Permission to take Accounting Theory and Corporate Taxation at York University in case things don’t work out as a contingency plan, but I realize that might also be subconciously acknowledging that I will be extending my studies for at least a summer.

I’ve simplified my approach to productivity and “Getting Things Done” to just two steps:

• plan my 3 “Must Outcomes” when I wake up and ask myself my morning questions
• Stick to those must outcomes and attach a deadline for each of those.  That’s it.

Anyway, back to studying for Business Combinations… I’ll learn what I can and have fun doing so.

I notice that there are a few people in my life who constantly bring up what I’m going to do after accounting. To be honest, it’s really quite draining when they ask me about my progress, and it isn’t the encouraging kind of inquisition - it almost feels like disdain or pity to prop their own situations up.

As for getting help, subconsciously, I know I have a lot of pride, but when it comes to asking for help.. how can you ask for help when you haven’t truly done the work. I can’t stand asking for help when I haven’t put in the work to do so. It’s almost as if I’m going through a subconscious backlash that is preventing me from doing what needs to be done.

I’m not one to lash out, but I feel as if I’m being stretched to the max as I come close to finishing these courses with the thought of just “passing them”. But then again, I’m still aware that I’m making a mountain out of a molehill. Perhaps I’m just being whiny about how I’m not “feeling” the material or that I’m not “passionate” about Accounting or Tax.

While this is a public journal for myself to reflect upon, I implore those who read these posts to KEEP ME ACCOUNTABLE - meaning leave me comments or anything My psychology towards my graduation isn’t the healthiest because in actuality, all I really want to do is just pass so I can move on and get into the CMA Accelerated program and actually LEARN AND REMEMBER accounting material from years ago that, for the life of me, I can’t remember.

And to those who keep on asking me about “How I’m doing with Accounting?” or “How’s the job hunt?” - I’m doing great as I’m going at my own pace and I’d just to add.. Bugger off!

- Will

1. Giving/Accepting Offers in order to heighten and explore a scene

2. Status - the status of one person in relation to the other improvisers

3. Strong choices - choosing something to work with from an offer and committing to it fully in order to make it as real as possible by coupling with an emotion.

Here are some videos of my first performance ever from my Level C class less semester. The games that we’re playing on stage are “Dr. Know-It-All” and “Hitchhiker”

Let me know what you guys think… remember.. this is my first performance so take it easy on me…

My efforts in prepping for finals is still taking a backseat due to assignments coming due. I’ve been able to squeeze in a little bit of studying here and there in order to understand Joint Ventures as well as Variable Interest Entities & Segment disclosures, but it isn’t the ideal situation where I can take massive action in order to fully understand the “why” of what I’m studying and map out the relationships of what I’m learning now and connecting it with previously learned concepts in order to get a “bigger picture understanding” of the materials with respect to business combinations.

For Corporate Tax, I’m still clueless as to what the tax sections mean, due to the challenging comprehension issues posed by reading “legalese” in the Canadian Income Tax act. I’ll be looking at it more in depth than ever when the weekend swings around. As my business combinations textbook states, “while studying the trees, we must not lose sight of the forest,” which clearly reflects my situation.

My efforts have languished over the last week because of several factors in terms of putting strain on my preparation for finals - namely final assignments. Coming down the pipeline, I have a presentation on “Barbie across cultures” for my course in Intercultural Communications as well as a 2000 word book review on “Blockbusters and Trade Wars” due by the end of the month. In addition to that, I have a Corporate Tax assignment and a Business Combinations assignment due at the end of the month, so it’s a whole lot of work that I have to push through, and I can’t afford to snap under this pressure. A shit storm will collide if I don’t pump these assignments out in record time.

Although there were some “hiccups” that have stifled my productivity, by setting an aggressive schedule to finish off assignments by midweek, next week, I’ll have a lot more room to breathe to prepare for finals at least 3 weeks in advance. As a result of this plan for massive action, I’ve put on hold my Toastmasters meetings, leisure reading and full scale workouts.

I’ve got 40 more pages of “Blockbusters and Trade Wars” to knock off before I head to bed . This is an experiment in and of itself, as I’ll post my results of implementing productivity boosting tips for my next entry.

Often when we are confronted with a situation or outcome that we feel is undesirable, it’s easy to fall into a negative thought pattern. We dwell on the situation and amplify what is already perceived as “bad”, rather than accept it for what it is and move forward.

It is often a slippery slope that is hard to get off of when we are focused on only the negative and self-created ‘imminent doom’ that awaits us. However, this can all be avoided when you realize that you can instantly break that negative pattern by recognizing that we already have a ‘positivity toolkit’ containing these 12 ways to instantly change your mood.

1. SMILE!

I mentioned in my previous post about smiling that we are biologically hardwired to feel better if not ‘good’ whenever we smile. Although it may seem weird at first to force a smile to change your mood, it is impossible to feel negative when you’re smiling ear to ear. It is best to do this in front of a mirror to see yourself smiling. It still works if you don’t have a mirror.

2. Music

There are numerous scientific studies that account for how music can change our mood in an instant. While it may sound like common sense to listen to a song that stirs up empowering emotions such as excitement, joy or gratitude - when you’re on that slippery slope, you can easily forget this powerful tool is at your disposal. Songs that are high energy, relaxing, or imparts to you an emotional and empowering connection work the best.

A perfect example would be if you were experiencing road rage. By putting on soothing classical music, it can trigger an emotional state that overrides the road rage and move you out of that negative state of mind.

What are the songs that changed your mood immediately in the past?3. Engage your body’s physiology

What I mean by engaging your body’s physiology is changing the way you move powerfully where you can change your emotional state immediately. While you can use your body language to communicate to others, you also unconsciously communicate to yourself. Engaging your physiology can come from:

• Smiling (as opposed to frowning)

• Improving your posture (are you slumping or is your back upright?)

• The step in your walk (are you dragging your feet or taking long and powerful strides?

• The position of your head (is your head held up high or looking down at the floor?)

• Your gestures (are they weak and passive or powerful and dominant?).

4. Exercise

Related to engaging your physiology, you can dissipate a bad mood by expending that negative energy towards something healthy and constructive like exercise. For myself, I either swim or run in order to get out of a bad mood with the end result of feeling powerful and invigorated. By exercising, you can trigger the brain to release “feel good” hormones otherwise known as endorphins.

It doesn’t have to be a full fledged workout, playing a sport or taking a walk is a great option as well.

What physical activity can you engage in to change your mood?5. Socialize

Whether you’re socially inclined or not, you start to feel better when you interact and surround yourself with positive people you can relate to. This can span anywhere from calling up your best friend to talk your situation through, to talking to a classmate or a co-worker, to going to a party. Any of these force you to focus on something rather than dwelling on the problem.

Whom can you talk to, meet or hang out with that can break you out of your negative state?6. Change your breathing

The way we breathe can affect our mood as well. If you notice, whenever you’re in a great mood, your breaths are spaced out evenly, you breathe easily, calmly and deeply. Compare that situation to when you’re feeling really stressed, nervous or anxious; your breaths are quick, erratic and shallow.

When it comes to breathing, we can consciously control the way we breathe and thus the way we feel. We can lower our heart rates and become cool as a cucumber

7. The way you frame or perceive your situation

Do you see the glass half-empty or half full? The way you frame situations (view the world) can significantly alter the way you see things and ultimately the way you feel.

Imagine a scenario where you had failed a midterm. You can:
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• (A) feel like a failure, think of past failures, mope for a week, then “try to do better next time”

• <!–[if !supportLists]–>(B) see it as constructive (but harsh) feedback and immediately take action to create a plan of what you need to do in order to ensure your success in that course. Most importantly, follow through.

Which scenario would you rather be in?8. Asking the right questions to direct your focus

It is said when you ask lousy questions you get lousy answers; however, when you ask great questions you get great answers. Instead of asking questions that amplify victimization, place the blame on others, or are limiting, try and ask questions that look beyond your problem. Your answer may lie beyond what your current perceived situation is.

For example, in a generalized situation of something “bad” regularly occurring, instead of asking “Why does this always happen to me?” ask “What are the actions that I can take to prevent this from happening to me?”

9. Meditation

While there are many different ways of meditating which I won’t go into, meditation can be defined as: “self regulation of attention, in the service of self-inquiry, in the here and now.” You can do this in solitude, but if that’s not possible you can close your eyes for a moment and take several deep slow breaths – breathing in the positive and exhaling negative energy. The self-inquiry aspect of meditation is crucial as it requires you to dig deeper into yourself, discovering the root of the negative thought pattern. Once you’ve reached that “Ah-Ha!” moment, you step out of the negative thought pattern into one that is constructive and resourceful.

10. Writing in a journal

When you put pen to paper (or blog), it’s a great way to vent all your thoughts, feelings, and frustrations unrestrained and without judgment.

This practice is particularly useful for the purposes of reflection. For when you observe your thoughts from a moment ago, a disconnect is created between your current state and the negative situation you were ‘in’. This realization occurs usually after writing a passage and leads to knowing the bad mood is just a ‘broken record’ that has been stopped, replaced, and acted upon objectively and constructively.

11. Sharing an intimate moment

If you have a significant other, being in his or her presence can change the way you feel instantly. Talking, hugging, cuddling or having sex (if you are that serious) can pull you out of downward spiral. It’s scientifically proven that engaging in any of the aforementioned releases endorphins that can transform the negative thought pattern into one that is joyful.

12. Do something you enjoy for a moment

This is another obvious activity we can do but might not be apparent when we’re in a bad mood. Be it knitting, sudoku or dancing like no one’s looking - anything that brings joy into your life can break you out of a negative thought pattern.

At one point or another, you have employed each and every one of these ways of changing your mood to certain degree. With these ways of altering your mood in mind, you can steer yourself away from being a Sad Sack to being a Glad Bag

Also check out:

• How to bust a bad mood
• Get off your butt: 16 Ways Get Motivated When You’re In a Slump
• Practical and Powerful Ways to Overcome Depression
• 6 Ways to Be Positive in Any Situation
• Investing In Yourself: Feeling Good

I’ll be posting my progress in terms of my understanding of Canadian Corporate Tax and Business Combinations in weekly updates. From here on in, it’s making EVERY SINGLE DAY COUNT. By planning in advance and harnessing all of the resources I have at my disposal in order to get the best possible mark considering my poor performance of midterms until I write my last exam.

This is to be a public record to hold myself accountable so I can follow through on this commitment of focus and determination to overcome this last hurdle before graduation.

I am both anxious and excited of the outcome of this challenge.

- Will