GALVANIZD

If you’ve ever been stuck in a situation where you know that you’ve met the person across from you, exchanged names, but for the life of you can’t recall the person’s name? A likely outcome of this awkward re-encounter would be where you’re simply hoping and waiting for that person to say something, well, anything that will jog your memory. If you don’t mention the person’s name and they remember yours, you can come off as insincere, which probably isn’t a desirable outcome in becoming charismatic. How do you prevent this awkward situation occurring in the first place?

It’s innate in human nature to crave recognition, acknowledgement and acceptance in any social circle a person feels they belong to or want to become a part of. One of the most effective things you can do towards taking that step in becoming more charismatic and generally good in connecting with new people is making the habit of remembering names. Taking a page from Dale Carnegie’s classic on interpersonal skills, “How to Win Friends and Influence People”, he says that “A person’s name is to him or her is the sweetest and most important sound in any language.”

I’ve had countless instances where people I’ve met over the years would remark on how impressed they are on my remembering the names months after our first encounter. It doesn’t take that much effort and sets the foundation for taking that first encounter to the next level, be it personal or professional.

It’s so simple yet so powerful. The act of taking the time to remember a person’s name may seem cumbersome at first but it will pay off in spades in the future when people know you’ve taken the time to remember their names and greet them with a warm smile from ear to ear. In return the person you’re interacting with will want to become more invested and get to know you on a more personal level. This simple distinction will set you apart from the mass of people who don’t employ this habit.

One little secret that I’ll reveal about how I remember names is that after meeting a new person, I’ll ask them how they spell their name try to commit it to my short term memory. After a natural lull in conversation, you can politely excuse yourself and go to the corner of the room to jot down the person’s name on a napkin or input it into your cell phone. Once you’ve exchanged contact info, I’d go so far as writing all the little details that I’ve learned about the person so that the next time you meet the person you can pick up where you’ve left off hit the ground running in re-connecting with that person. If you’ve got a knack for connecting with people you can go one even step further and enter a person’s personal details into a spreadsheet and commit it to memory. I actually review this spreadsheet once every few months to refresh my memory and it only takes a few minutes, but it makes it easier to pick up where you left off in case of a random encounter.

By making the effort to remember someone’s name and even going so far about learning more about a person that goes beyond scratching the surface (say their passions or their kids) the next time you follow up you’ll be glad to find out that they’ll be readily impressed by your social savvy and even warmly receptive if not enthusiastic to connect with you again.